2012, the year I became a man, an Ironman. I have meant to post something for weeks. Motivation to get back into action has been tough, training and mentally-wise...but I've realized it's because a hell of a lot happened in the past few months. I think my body and mind needed some down time.
2012 was a ridic year for ACG, but probably the best of my life (with other huge life accomplishments aside). July 22, 2012 is a day I'll never forget, but 2012 the year also physically included PR's in the half marathon and Olympic distance tri, and one of the best MS rides of my life. Not only did I complete a lifelong goal before turning 30, but I also had a huge year professionally. Challenges arose of course during the same exact time of my heavy training (naturally). But that's life, everything seems to happen at once, right? I believe we are given only what we can "endure" so it must have all been dealt to me at once for a reason. It's hard to even reflect on all the emotions I felt last summer, but it was stressful, challenging, emotional, and spectacular all at the same time.
My Ironman journey made me really get to know myself again. When you embark on something like this, you need to be at peace with learning a lot about yourself...some of which you may not like. I was not always easy to deal with, I was cranky and could get angry/emotional extremely easy. My loved ones knew this all too well. But, on the flip side, I learned that I can "endure" a hell of a lot while multitasking my career, relationships and other life responsibilities.
Most importantly, I learned that I do really like the person I've become. Sure, I have many shortcomings and imperfections, like anyone else. But I know that if I put my mind to something, I'll figure it out one way or another. "I am vindicated." I embraced my passion for life and people. I love that I wear my emotions and heart on my sleeve. I learned that I'm kind of gross ha, and I really don't mind that! I like that I'm not a prissy girl, I'm an athlete. I like playing the professional businesswoman during the day, and really like getting sweaty and dirty after 5 pm to push myself to my limits. I know I've met some truly incredible people as a result of my life's path, most recently through triathlon/endurance sports and my non-profit work. And I wouldn't trade any of that for the world. They enrich my life in so many ways, and have made me a better person. Some have become my best friends, and I love you for loving me for me.
2012 was full of up's and down's, but closing it out the up's so outweigh any of the down's...they just made me a stronger person.
"Endure"...I keep using that word because 2012 taught me that this is really a mantra for me. It's been on my Road ID as a quote, with TCB of course. But it's a way of life for me. Natually, in training and Ironman, this is the definition of "endure" to me. But also in my personal life and career. You need to "endure" to come out on top, to achieve your goals. And the journey is never really over because there are always more goals and accomplishments to achieve. But going through the process is what makes everything so rewarding. I "endure" it all, and will continue to do so. When things are/get tough, I can push through. "Dark clouds may hang on me sometimes, but I'll work it out."
My blog may be far less exciting now, and I'm sure I won't have too much exiting to post. My year of the new journey is over, but now different adventures begin. 2013 will include some new goals, mostly focusing on pushing myself in different ways, working on speed, faster PR's and a Half IM. Here's to hoping all goes well, and that Placid will be back on my radar for 2014...yes, feeling a huge draw back to that magical place. And to making new, wonderful memories all along the way.
2012 is a year I'll never forget, a huge milestone year in my life. And I'll never be the same because of it. And I'm just fine with that :) I'll "endure" what is to come in 2013 and beyond.
I'll be sure to "celebrate...'cause life is short but sweet for certain".
Sunday, January 20, 2013
Ramblings of an Ironman
Some random thoughts I have...distorted perceptions of reality I have come to embrace, here they are:
After months of fighting the penis/dick knees and a permanent racerback on my back, I have come to kind of like my sweet, strange tan lines. I feel like this is a real tan.
I secretly love (not even just like) when I get a "chain tatoo" on my calf from my bike.
Snickers and M&M's are totally great cycling snacks.
I now hate Gatorade and prefer "donkey piss" aka Ironman Perform.
I feel like I could fairly easily ride a Century ride most weekends. (Well, maybe not in the offseason!)
An hour workout seems short...
I sometimes feel a little slackerish on Saturday and Sunday afternoons when my workouts are well over and I'm doing something relaxing now.
I feel the need to fill all water bottle cages, even if it is a short ride.
2400 feet of climbing seems like NBD.
I feel more sore and tight now than last summer?
It was delightful to get drunk after one beer. I still feel like more of a lightweight than previously...which is kinda awesome.
Ironman training = a great ass.
I'm skilled at the art of air hankies, sometimes ;)
After months of fighting the penis/dick knees and a permanent racerback on my back, I have come to kind of like my sweet, strange tan lines. I feel like this is a real tan.
I secretly love (not even just like) when I get a "chain tatoo" on my calf from my bike.
Snickers and M&M's are totally great cycling snacks.
I now hate Gatorade and prefer "donkey piss" aka Ironman Perform.
I feel like I could fairly easily ride a Century ride most weekends. (Well, maybe not in the offseason!)
An hour workout seems short...
I sometimes feel a little slackerish on Saturday and Sunday afternoons when my workouts are well over and I'm doing something relaxing now.
I feel the need to fill all water bottle cages, even if it is a short ride.
2400 feet of climbing seems like NBD.
I feel more sore and tight now than last summer?
It was delightful to get drunk after one beer. I still feel like more of a lightweight than previously...which is kinda awesome.
Ironman training = a great ass.
I'm skilled at the art of air hankies, sometimes ;)
Coming off the high
My last day in Placid was filled with packing, an Olympic sports simulation and tour of the ice rinks, walking around town and shopping, and QT with some fam and friends. It was a beautiful day last Wed, and of course was the day to leave, sigh. Wanted to go to a watering hole or paddle board or hike or swim...anything outside.
We got in the car to finally leave town, and I got quiet. Mike knew something was up and asked what was wrong. I just said I'm really really sad to leave Placid. And I was. I still am. Driving off was really difficult, and that may sound childish like I don't want to leave vacation, but I did feel immediate sadness.
Sad because I simply love it there. It is beautiful, serene, fun, and now filled with a very special memory of my first Ironman - something that will never be tainted and always extremely special as one of the biggest days in my life. I loved Placid before I ever knew I would be an Ironman, from working the marathon up there. I loved it when I went up to train in May. And now I love it that much more.
I mean heck it is a place filled with greatness. How can you not be in awe thinking about the 1980 Winter Games? "Do you believe in miracles?!?!" Fantastic memory and of course movie. And the '32 games also hosted in this magical place. You see the Legends of the Oval, and tour the Olympic facilities and feel the power of the Olympics. Call me nostalgic and yes I love the Olympics, but that is something amazing.
And we, as Ironmen, get to be on these grounds to compete in an endurance race beyond so many of us. To test ourselves with 2700 of our "closest" friends. Oh and don't forget that our last yards of the Ironman are run in the Olympic Oval, to finish the race we set out to start at 7 am. Nothing short of amazing. Not to mention, this year's IM was right before the 2012 Olympics. I got chills thinking about it.
But the IM aside, the scenery is beautiful and there is just something about that place I loved from the first day I ever arrived there. I felt similar about Hawaii, Scranton (laugh if you will, but it felt like home for college), the Outerbanks, and Estonia.
AND not only was I very sad to leave Placid, in the days since I've been home and settling back into "real life" I have become more sad. Sad that the experience is over, for now. To devote so much time to this huge personal goal and have the day itself be such a big high point in my life is...wonderful, fabulous, indescribable. And now it's over. Talk about your adrenaline dump. Mike says he was worried this would happen, and I was a little too. But how do you prepare for that? I don't think I could've.
This takes nothing away from my day and accomplishment, it couldn't. It is just a little sad. Is this normal? I'd like to think so. I asked my IM friends and coach. Verdict seems to be in my favor, that I'm not crazy (despite what you may think!).
What next? Who knows, I'm not too worried about that. No, there will not be an IM next year. My boyfriend, family, friends, myself, and especially my wallet need a break. Maybe some other tri's, maybe a marathon? Don't know yet. Maybe gymnastics? Yes, you read that right. More on that later, Mike Massimini style.
Monday was the icing on the cake. Back to work after being off to recoop last week. I think it just made me really feel it. I'm ok, don't get me wrong, just wish I could always relive that day. Good thing I have amazing people to remind me how proud of me they are :) And waiting on pictures and videos! And the wonderful gifts I got and things people have done for me.
Coming off the high and having the adrenaline dump are real issues, but I'm fine. I'll get over it. I'll have that next thing in to focus on. But nothing will replace this experience and Lake Placid will always be a special place in my heart, and I will always love both and treasure July 22, 2012.
So I never published this...don't really know why...but as this "depression" as I called my IM letdown last for awhile...longer than I anticipated. Probably longer than a month. But all is well of course. I think just having dedicated the better part of year to an incredible goal will do that to you. Reading what I wrote then brings me back, and I will never, ever forget the incredible journay I took. How could I?
"Finish Line Fever" is a real thing, folks. People may think we triathletes are nuts, but I gotta tell you there is nothing quite like it. It's our drug of choice, and I'm blessed to have experienced it...and will again, hopefully in 2014 ;)
We got in the car to finally leave town, and I got quiet. Mike knew something was up and asked what was wrong. I just said I'm really really sad to leave Placid. And I was. I still am. Driving off was really difficult, and that may sound childish like I don't want to leave vacation, but I did feel immediate sadness.
Sad because I simply love it there. It is beautiful, serene, fun, and now filled with a very special memory of my first Ironman - something that will never be tainted and always extremely special as one of the biggest days in my life. I loved Placid before I ever knew I would be an Ironman, from working the marathon up there. I loved it when I went up to train in May. And now I love it that much more.
I mean heck it is a place filled with greatness. How can you not be in awe thinking about the 1980 Winter Games? "Do you believe in miracles?!?!" Fantastic memory and of course movie. And the '32 games also hosted in this magical place. You see the Legends of the Oval, and tour the Olympic facilities and feel the power of the Olympics. Call me nostalgic and yes I love the Olympics, but that is something amazing.
And we, as Ironmen, get to be on these grounds to compete in an endurance race beyond so many of us. To test ourselves with 2700 of our "closest" friends. Oh and don't forget that our last yards of the Ironman are run in the Olympic Oval, to finish the race we set out to start at 7 am. Nothing short of amazing. Not to mention, this year's IM was right before the 2012 Olympics. I got chills thinking about it.
But the IM aside, the scenery is beautiful and there is just something about that place I loved from the first day I ever arrived there. I felt similar about Hawaii, Scranton (laugh if you will, but it felt like home for college), the Outerbanks, and Estonia.
AND not only was I very sad to leave Placid, in the days since I've been home and settling back into "real life" I have become more sad. Sad that the experience is over, for now. To devote so much time to this huge personal goal and have the day itself be such a big high point in my life is...wonderful, fabulous, indescribable. And now it's over. Talk about your adrenaline dump. Mike says he was worried this would happen, and I was a little too. But how do you prepare for that? I don't think I could've.
This takes nothing away from my day and accomplishment, it couldn't. It is just a little sad. Is this normal? I'd like to think so. I asked my IM friends and coach. Verdict seems to be in my favor, that I'm not crazy (despite what you may think!).
What next? Who knows, I'm not too worried about that. No, there will not be an IM next year. My boyfriend, family, friends, myself, and especially my wallet need a break. Maybe some other tri's, maybe a marathon? Don't know yet. Maybe gymnastics? Yes, you read that right. More on that later, Mike Massimini style.
Monday was the icing on the cake. Back to work after being off to recoop last week. I think it just made me really feel it. I'm ok, don't get me wrong, just wish I could always relive that day. Good thing I have amazing people to remind me how proud of me they are :) And waiting on pictures and videos! And the wonderful gifts I got and things people have done for me.
Coming off the high and having the adrenaline dump are real issues, but I'm fine. I'll get over it. I'll have that next thing in to focus on. But nothing will replace this experience and Lake Placid will always be a special place in my heart, and I will always love both and treasure July 22, 2012.
So I never published this...don't really know why...but as this "depression" as I called my IM letdown last for awhile...longer than I anticipated. Probably longer than a month. But all is well of course. I think just having dedicated the better part of year to an incredible goal will do that to you. Reading what I wrote then brings me back, and I will never, ever forget the incredible journay I took. How could I?
"Finish Line Fever" is a real thing, folks. People may think we triathletes are nuts, but I gotta tell you there is nothing quite like it. It's our drug of choice, and I'm blessed to have experienced it...and will again, hopefully in 2014 ;)
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